The graphs of heartbreak

top-35-songs-for-the-broken-hearted-1578.jpgAlthough it is a great title for a novel, and I own the copyright of it, The graphs of heartbreak will, for now, be only the title of this short article.

You must be thinking : ‘How’s that? A freaking graph to measure a heartbreak? That’s crazy.’ I tell you that yes, it is crazy, but no, these graphs aren’t made to measure heartbreaks but to explain them, and the causes of it. And don’t worry, there’s no math into it,  just a bunch of poorly made drawings on Paint.

First things first and second things third. What’s a heartbreak? Well, it is pretty much the reality call of love. You can only suffer a heartbreak if you ‘dream’ about a person, which happens 999% of the time for love newbies. No, there are 3 nines, I didn’t put one by mistake.

But Júlio, how the hell can I not dream? She/he is sooo goddamn fine and cute and lovely?

-_- See my point?

The whole point of love is to blind you from reality making your brain literally a junkie on dopamine so you can not think straight. I’m an expert on love bullshit and a biologist, so my word is legit.

Once you get the reality call and the effects of dopamine kicks off, well, that’s what we call a heartbreak. Because you became Alice in wonderland, once you realize that you’re back to the real world and the person that you loved isn’t there, because it’s real version is… real, and this was the version that woke you up from that beautiful, everlasting dream, you gain the heartbreak. No, your dreams weren’t true.

The only way to NOT get a heartbreak is to NOT create dreamy versions a person. People are shitty, coward, weak, full of lies and deceit, selfish and sometimes worthless pieces of shit that we think we can change, but we can’t. That’s the truth. Stick to it. Never think with your heart, you have your brain for that. Never attach to a person to the point that you forget who you are. Do not trust to the point of blindness, never, ever do that, no one is perfect, nobody will ever be. Oh, and my favorite: the fancier, the shittier. People that look like that they came from a dream, full of makeup or good clothing, too arranged and organized, or with too much of self-esteem are the worst. Because they tend to think that they are perfect. They are not! The ones worth to love are those that know that they aren’t perfect, especially those that don’t try to be perfect, and in the end, they are themselves.

I can assure you. There is nothing more beautiful than a person full of flaws, scars and tears in eyes but a smile on the face. If you see one of these, love them so hard that they will feel complete, for they are the most loyal.

But let’s say that you’re already fucked up or in the process of being fucked up by that reality call. Well, I can only wish you good luck and give you the graphs to help you help yourself.

The first graph is about what happens before and after the reality call, being the reality call the turning point of all graphs.

Graph one. This one is the most common to happen to the love newbies or the ones that never learn the lesson. I will explain, although there are no reasons to do it. Well, the graph goes from left to right, being the first point of the curve, or the beginning, the time when the two meet, the highest point, where the heartbreak occurs, and the negative part of the curve, on the right side of the graph the recovery stage.  This happens to the ones that dream too much and get caught in their own illusions. 999% of the time.

graph 1

Well, the recovery will depend on one’s personality. I just focused on the heartbreak point.


Graph two. Yep, this happens to those who think that the second time will be different but still dream too much. graph 2



With no further need for explanations let’s move on to the third graph.

On the last graph, I will give you reality itself. There’s no such thing as not to suffer heartbreaks. There’s only the fact of you keeping in mind that eventually, you will suffer from one, and that’s is up to you to decide if you are willing to suffer for the person that you’ve chosen, and to realize if that person is worthy of all the suffering. So, that graph, it’s up to you.

Keep checking the blog, because I’ll soon post Recovery Tips to help you go through those through times.

Good luck, and see you around the blog.



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